Watching an autoplay on Youtube, I started with Ellie Goulding singing Love Me Like You Do in a Victoria’s Secret runway. When I see those glorious Barbies, I said to myself, “They look like they’re 20-25 max.”
The videos continued to play.. then there was Selena Gomez, Justin Bieber, and then Charlie Puth singing in Jingle Bell Ball.
What’s the similarities? THEY ARE YOUNG. Young and having the best time of their life, perhaps.
What have I done and enjoy? I don’t know. I’m about to finish my 20s in less than 2 years and gosh I feel like I’ve done nothing. Like I’ve accomplished nothing. Like I haven’t enjoyed my life.
All I know is that I’m waiting for something that never seems to happen. But of course, as a person grew in a good and supportive environment, I spent most of my time being a good citizen, a good kid, and a good worker. I studied. I don’t mess around. I don’t do something stupid. But I never excel. I never feel so good about anything that I’ve done and achieve. That’s why everything feels wrong and I’m waiting for life to be right.
I’m gonna be 30 in no time and gosh I feel like I’m missing out life. I’ll be slow and cranky and not fun anymore. I don’t know. I’m afraid so. There are may things I haven’t done, and those are the things done by young people. I’m missing out life and instead I spent my life with something boring… which kinda make me boring too. I am boring.
And I’m missing out life.