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Charmed

So my boss suddenly had a business trip. And all the approval I need him to sign is now neglected. I won’t be able to continue my job if I don’t get any approval.

Anyway, I am not gonna rant about work, I just wanna tell you how jobless I am these past 3 days. So I’ve got time to rant about something else. Ahahaha.. OK no ranting. Seriously. Just some boring story.

Yesterday I went home quite early after work. Had a box of delicious chicken boneless thigh (DOSA!!) and enjoy Youtube videos. Found out that Shane Dawson broke up with his girlfriend last summer (and I was kinda sad) and that he admitted that he’s a bi. Which is good, I guess.

Well, yea, I spent my evening watching Youtube, without realizing that I’ve got some messsages on LINE.

So right before I started my daily workout, I checked my phone and read a message from “M”.

M said: (my name) I like u.

Whoa. ‘Apa-apaan neh,’ as I said to myself.

I replied: Hoii M. Whassap suddenly?

And there we started the chat. Then I found out that it was hard for him to send me that very short message containing only my name and those three other words. Took him 3 days to send, he said. Then he told me that he was kinda freaked out when I deleted my FB account, because apparently it was the only channel that connected us until he found my IG, and collected the gut to ask my LINE ID. It was hard, he said. Then he told me he once got an offer to move abroad. But he was afraid to lose contant with me (which kinda strange because we got internet, dude). Also because the offering was too hard to fulfil (hahaha).

He said he had many reason to like me. He said I was talkative (somehow he thinks it’s a good thing) and critical. He said my physical apprearance also contributed to his attraction, but he won’t tell cos he said I’d be angry. I guess it was because I was “chubby”. I kinda have this feeling that he likes chubby girl, but I dunno, that’s just me. He also said I was pretty.

Anyway, as much as I think it was surprising (more to shocking, actually), I also think that it was kinda sweet. I mean, I did nothing, absolutely nothing. But hey, someone liked me.

Reminds me of my dear French friend who suddenly disappeared after confessing his feeling earlier this year. He confessed he liked me, SO DAMN MUCH that he looked for a job in Singapore to get closer to me. He said that my exes didn’t deserve me. And may other things that made me, who didn’t actually have any feeling toward him, started to grow some. But then he left.

But, not the leaving part I find it similar to M. But the I-absolutely-did-nothing-but-be-friend with them. I did nothing but they like me. Well, liked me.

Am I that charming? Ahahahahahhaahaa…

I don’t really have the urge to know more about M, because, hey, he was school time crush. Yes, we had a lil history back then. He was the person that I liked and liked me back but he had a girlfriend that time, and didn’t want to break up with her. I seriously don’t know what was in his head, why the hell he thought he could get both. And I don’t bother to ask till now, coz he would just say: “I don’t wanna talk about past, I wanna move on” kind of thing. It doesn’t mean he’s a bad person, anyway. Maybe he was just confused.

This kind of incident will lead you to take a good look at yourself and reset your mind about yourself: Hey, you’re not that bad!

Especially when it happened twice a year. Hahaha.

You can be all charming without you even know it. You’re being yourself to people you consider friend and they were charmed. At some point, you can proudly say that you’re charming. I am charming. *and I am strange too* *sorry, it comes in a package*

I am just not lucky enough to meet the person who is charmed by me and get me charmed too.

But I will. I will.

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