When you’re so depressed and everything seems so wrong…
You just freeze.
You breathe, but you’re barely alive.
You stare at the ceiling of your room, but your eyes are dead.
Then you move your body.
You try to do something useful.
But you can’t.
You’re head is still frozen.
You are too absorbed into the doom.
You freeze again.
Then all the old dreams flood your mind.
The times when dreams kept you alive and everything seemed wonderful.
Because you know, dreams are just dreams.
You’ve lived long enough to see that none of your dreams came true.
You’ve lived long enough to finally lose hope.
You’ve lived long enough to clearly see that reality is not as sweet as dream.
Instead, it’s cold and harsh.
It sucks all the happiness and hope that once you had.
It hit you so hard, you’re bleeding inside.
You keep telling yourself to stay positive, not to lose this battle.
But, there is no battle.
There is only Miracle, calling out names to share her joy.
And your name is not in her list.
You’re not on her list.
You’re left out.
Like you’ve always been.