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Would You Help Me?

It’s gonna be a confession. And an honest post. And a scream out from the deepest of my heart.

I’m gonna start with a confession: whenever I open soc med page and see my friends post their babies picts, or their husband/wife’s picts, or they talk about their wedding plan, or about them working abroad, or having a really big project, I feel envy.

I envy that they achieved all of that at the same age as me now, while I have nothing.

Also, my friends have made big decisions at such a young age. Decision to marry, decision to have kids, decision to resign from shitty jobs, decision to go abroad, or start a business. While I’m here, sitting and just following the flow.

Well, yes, I envy them.

And that leads me to this: is it me who is not grateful enough?

I guess the answer is yes. I always envy others. But I need a help here. I need you to tell me what’s to be grateful of, what’s to be envied from me? What do I have but others don’t? Maybe it will open my eyes a little that my life is actually great and is leading to a brighter future.

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3 thoughts on “Would You Help Me?

  1. You have a chance to pursue more knowledge and get your master’s degree, in turn making you more qualified for better jobs, better life, and a chance to meet greater people.
    You’re healthy, you’re pretty and you’re not handicapped, either physically or mentally.
    Sure, I’m just stating the obvious that I see, but for me, just being healthy is one of the biggest blessing that people tend to overlook.
    Of course life’s gonna be hard, and there are so many times that I feel just like you, that I have nothing either, and everyone’s having a impossibly better life. Maybe yeah, now. We don’t know what’s gonna happen tomorrow. Could be another shitty day, week, month, year… but it’s always gonna feel shitty if you feel shitty.
    I’m being kinda dark too now, nothing has changed since 2 years ago. I was expecting to get engaged (uh, hello curcol alert) or anything, have a better job or maybe a better salary, better body, whatever… believe me, I’ve tried, but it just doesn’t work that way.
    Right now, all I know is … if God intends you to be a certain way, you will be. Patience isn’t my strong suit, but I will keep trying, keep a positive outlook on things, and wait for my world to be beautiful in time. I’m sure the same will happen to you too.
    Chin up 🙂

  2. Tina pretty much sums up everything I wanted to say, but I’LL add a warm, compLete famiLy and Lots of friends.
    I too, have been stuck in my comfort zone fortoo Long, and it wiLL be damn hard to get up and Leave it. I think my Life is boring. But I aLways try to Look up for the smaLL things that I know wiLL make me happy, at Least for that moment. I guess that’s the best I can do now. I’m sure you’LL find your own way.

  3. Girls, thank you so much.
    Well, that’s what I’ve been thinking actually. I am lucky enough to have family, friends to support me. And a chance to study again, while others maybe have to wait or give up such thing. Thank you for pointing out things that are so common (to me) that I overlooked them and didn’t count them as a blessing… Like, complete family members and health. I mean, we were born with healthy body (and hopefully healthy mind) that we are so used to it we don’t see it as something to be grateful (well, at least it’s just me). I’m so used to it I don’t say enough thank you to God for blessing me with those things.

    Anyway, I see that we all have the same problem.. what makes it different is, perhaps, I whine too much while you girls are grown up enough to face it. What a shame on me.

    But, thank you girls, you’re the bests!

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